I was just wondering if you guys are open today?

It's Thanksgiving. The grocery store where I work is open all day today. The only day of the year we close is Christmas. Today, I was stuck at the service counter answering phone calls. How dumb are people? Seriously.

I answer the phone. "Hey, are you guys open today?" the idiot on the other end asks.
"No, I just thought I'd stick around and answer the phone rather than spending the holiday with my family."

Of course, I didn't say that, but I wanted to.

The next question is usually, "How long are you open?"
"Until Christmas."

And yes, I did say "Until Christmas." I couldn't resist.

The other thing that drives me nuts is when customers come in and say stupid things like, "Oh, you have to work on Thanksgiving. That's a bummer; they shouldn't make you work on Thanksgiving."

"Well, if you didn't have to come in the store to get your lottery tickets, I wouldn't have to work, would I?"

Again, didn't say it, but I was thinking it.

Go home, you morons! Find something better to do with your Thanksgiving than bothering me!